I went to the doctor yesterday for my first intra lipid infusion. The intra lipids are a soy and egg yolk based milky product in an IV bag that just drip into your system for a little over an hour, and they help suppress the Natural Killer Cells. Each infusion is about 2,000 calories!!! Holy moly! That's almost double of my normal daily consumption! And afterwards, I was still hungry! But, the infusion itself went well. My right arm was sore and bruised up from blood work on Monday, so they couldn't get a vein on that arm. They tested my left arm, but of course, no signs of my veins. So the nurse had to use the tiny vein on my tiny left hand. I'm worried about all the needle sticks in all of my veins. They're getting sore and sensitive and I don't blame them one bit for hiding. But, she was able to successfully get the IV in my hand, so then I just curled up with my blanket and book for the next hour, until my IV bag dripped dry. No big deal, no side effects. Afterwards, I felt good enough to hit up Kirkland's big semi-annual sale on the way home! I'll do another infusion around the time of the egg retrieval and then another around the time they put the eggs back in.
I started my Follistim shots a few days ago now. I inject 225 units each night, but tonight I lower it to 150 units. Follistim is a VERY expensive drug that stimulates the ovaries to mass produce eggs. The needle is tiny, but the shot is somewhat painful. I try not to complain because I know worse shots are coming. But still, the shot burns for at least 10-15 minutes and then makes me feel shaky and sweaty for a good 30 minutes afterwards. So, my nightly routine is to get ready for bed, take care of our little herd of fur babies, pour me a glass of cold iced tea, give myself the shot around 9:30, then force myself to just sit and relax for the next 30 minutes to an hour before going to sleep. I'm normally such a busy person, I usually don't sit and watch t.v. My normal routine includes working full time, lots of homework because I'm 7 classes away from my bachelor's degree, working out, playing with our 3 sweet baby dogs, taking care of housework, and anything else I can find to be busy and productive throughout the day. I love being busy. And I love working out because it's such a huge stress reliever! Well, since my body and pocket book are working hard over time trying to mass produce eggs, I'm not allowed to be busy. I'm not allowed to work out. I'm really just supposed to be taking it "easy" during this time, which is driving me crazy!!! Before we started our IVF cycle, I had really started eating healthier and stepping up my workout routine and ended up losing about 10 lbs in the past couple of months. Now, between the steroids and the Follistim, I cannot get un-hungry! I can get full, but I still feel hungry! It's ridiculous! I stepped on the scale this morning, thinking that for sure I've already gained back all 10 pounds, but to my surprise, only 2.5. After all the work me and my ovaries and my hormones are doing, I'm ok with that.
My belly is swollen from injections. My lower abdomen is swollen from overstimulated ovaries. I feel my ovaries working hard. They feel about the size of cantaloupes. Today, I am sore and bruised and swollen and bloated and puffy. And I still have at the very least, 4 days left of making these precious little golden eggs.
We go back to the doctor Monday, July 7th to do another ultrasound and test my estrogen levels to see if we've reached that perfect point yet to start the egg retrieval. Each appointment is so stressful and nerve racking. The smallest unplanned event could cause us to have to cancel our whole cycle, wait for the meds to leave my body, and then pay for new meds and start the process all over again in a couple of months. This is a worry that is forever on my mind, and all we can do is pray for the best and pray for strength and trust that He has a plan much greater than ours.
(my daily breakfast)
This journey started when I met my husband almost five years ago. The desire to be a mother, however, started from my very first baby doll 30 years ago. It's a desire that doesn't go away, and only gets stronger with time. IVF is such an emotionally, physically, and financially exhausting adventure. You never know what your body is going to do regardless of all the plans you lay out on paper. You think you have enough money saved up, then, because your body doesn't do exactly what you want it to do, there's unexpected expense on top of unexpected expense. One day you feel positive and like you can conquer anything, then the next day you wake up angry just knowing you have several injections waiting for you to get out of bed. But you do it all anyways. Like a boss. Like the fighter that you are.
No comments:
Post a Comment